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Now We’re All Up to Date… and Flowing Differently

So now the kids are older.
I’m not waking up to middle-of-the-night feedings anymore, and I’ve stopped donating to the NICU—for a while at least. Life kind of swept me away. I’ve been running around in regular-mom-mode: school drop-offs, sports practices, work, dinner, dishes, repeat. You know, the rhythm we all fall into without even realizing it.

But lately… I’ve been flowing differently.

In my early fifties, I’m stepping back into something that I thought might’ve been behind me—being a mommy all over again. Not in the traditional sense, but in the way my body, my heart, and my spirit have always known how to nurture.

I’m working now at the hospital in the pediatrics department. I’m surrounded by babies, their soft cries, their tiny fingers wrapped around adult thumbs, and their endless potential. And every time I hear a baby cry?
Something in me stirs.
My body still reacts.
My breasts still tingle. Sometimes, they tense.
And, yes—sometimes I even drip a little.

It’s like my body remembers.

And so I decided—why not try again?

Why not see if I can relactate and donate once more?
Why not use this gift again, not just for me, but for babies who need it most?

I’ll be honest—it’s not as easy as it was before.
I don’t produce as much. My body’s slower, softer, and more stubborn. But my will is strong. My why is even stronger.

So here I am…
Back on the protocol.
I’ve started the medications, the supplements, the power pumping.
I’ve been researching like crazy—reading blogs, joining lactation groups, and finding others who are walking this same road.
I’m following moms, adoptive parents, grandmas, and women in ABF/ANR relationships who are all choosing to induce their way.

Because that’s the thing—there’s no one way to do this.
There’s only your way.