This Is My Flow - Continued

Growing Up, Slowing Down

Now the babies are older—no longer babies, really—with full little lives of their own. We’ve entered a new phase: school mornings, backpacks, sports, dance classes, and gymnastics routines. Baby girl doesn’t nurse anymore, but she’s still very much a mama’s girl. Always up under me, always watching how I move and trying to do what I do. She’s my shadow. But let’s be clear—she doesn’t play about her daddy. She thinks she’s his boss and isn’t shy about letting us know it.

Baby boy, on the other hand, still sneaks in his nursing sessions from time to time, mostly at night before bed. It’s his comfort. It’s our ritual. But I can feel even that beginning to fade. As the days stretch into evenings filled with homework and activities, I started pumping more again—donating what I could. Hubby and I still have our moments of closeness, but even those have changed with time. The production just isn’t what it used to be.

We’re past the baby stage now, and I love where we are. But I also know it’s time to start focusing on other things. I still want to support NICU babies. I want to keep pumping and donating once baby boy is fully weaned. That’s the goal now.

Lately, though, I’ve noticed my supply is slowing. There were a few days where I barely got two ounces total all day. So I’m planning to bring in the cookies and teas again—see if they help. I would love to be able to donate at least a brick every time I drop off milk.

(For those who don’t know, a "brick" is a gallon-sized ziplock bag full of pre-filled breast milk storage pouches. It’s a beautiful sight to behold.)

I’m a stay-at-home mom who works from home, and I truly love the feeling of being able to give other babies the healthiest start possible. Some of the moms I’ve met have even offered to buy milk from me, but I just can’t charge them. Not yet. I give when I can. Most of their babies are already used to my milk, so they use supplementers with it until their own supply comes in.

I’m constantly in awe of what we as women can do with our bodies. The way we love. The way we nurture. The way we show up—over and over again.

Even as things shift, this journey continues. It just looks a little different now.